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6 Effective Ways to Start a Conversation with a Stranger on a Flight #traveltips #flighttips

How to Start a Conversation on a Flight, Trip, Train or Bus -Pkjulesworld

6 Proven Tips Guaranteed to Start a Conversation on your travels Be it on a plane, train, bus, or beach #5 is our favorite

Seriously you are traveling alone on a 14-hour flight or even a 38 hr flight to Down under or something and you are sat in the middle seat between 2 total strangers.  How do you start a conversation when travelling with the person next to you? Without coming across as a boring old fart or a nosy Julie? Nor do you want to spend 14 hours in an uncomfortable silence.

This is a question that arose on a chat and which somehow came up at a party. So we decided to play devil’s advocate and throw it out here too.

We are looking to hear some awesome suggestions in the comments below on:

How to start a conversation with strangers when travelling or at an event”

Want to successfully chat up a fellow traveller on your flight? Here are 6 effective ice breakers to help you start a conversation and possibly ease an otherwise boring time. #traveltips #startaconversation #icebreakers

So here is our view on strike up a chat on a flight, beach, etc. when travelling with the person next to you:

Remember that not everyone you meet is a homicidal maniac looking to obliterate the human race or cleanse the system of bison hunters! Assuming you are, 🙂 So…

Whether you are travelling for work, pleasure, leisure, traveling solo etc. It’s possible to end up sitting with people you never met before esp. with the Airlines looking to make an extra buck by placing people on different seats even when they made a single booking.

If it’s a road trip on a bus or train, you definitely could find yourself sat with a stranger even if travelling with family or friends. Everything depends on first come first serve.

Subconsciously or consciously we have to consider:

  • the best time to start a conversation. Should it be shortly after taking your seat, after take-off, during meals, when you need to visit the loo, or just stretch on the bus/flight/train?
  • Is it a short journey or a long journey, and in that case, must you even start a conversation?
  • Whether the other person wants to talk – Body language is a major signal here.

The thing is if you are travelling for business esp. to an event, it is a good idea to practice talking to strangers before you even get to the event. I recommend and feel you might benefit from effective networking at an event.

Here is the deal. If it’s on a flight, most people these days are stressed out with the queues at check in and airport security checks. If they rushed to the boarding gate they simply want to catch their breath…

Others are terrified of flying and want to play macho…Lots going on.

So it’s essential to get off on the right foot to; check the body language of the other passenger… You will learn and notice a lot. 80% of human communication is non-verbal. So be on the lookout for your cue to either keep schtum and mind your business or start that conversation.

Have they kept their shades on, look away every time you try to smile or look at them. Keep their eyes focused on some distant place… Look blank when you smile, Grump when you ask to get past them to your seat…All possible signs of;

“I think you are Osama’s sister and don’t wish to talk syndrome.” I made that up 🙂 

the best part of starting a conversation on a flight or road-trip is LISTENING #flighttips #traveltuesday Click To Tweet

Always remember the best part of starting a conversation on a flight or road-trip is to LISTEN to the response and pick up on whether to continue to let them be. I believe that we all meet for a reason and who knows where a conversation could lead. Or that you may uplift someone just by being friendly, communicative and listening to them.

We are all a little more suspicious and less sociable due to scare mongering by the media and real acts of terror. Yet, most humans are open, social people who don’t mind a friendly face and conversation. Who knows, your smile may uplift someone o your next trip.

How to Start a Conversation on a Plane, Train or Bus! #Smile #traveletiquette

I share 6 Effective ways I have been able to Start a Conversation with Strangers on our travels.

Below are some tips and conversation starters in any situation esp. when traveling on a long flight, train, bus ride, on a beach or wherever you are if not wit family or friends. 

1. The Offer…I always have a packet of dried fruit and I bring an extra bottle of water. If it’s a flight I buy some in duty free after check in. Always ensure bottle, packet is sealed and of course check the sell by date! I then offer the person next to me. Here is how:

“Hey I am Julie, would you like some… (water, fruit etc.?)”

This works great on a bus or train ride. Not so much on a flight as meals are served in short order of take off, but it does break the ice!

On a flight from Budapest, Paul and I struck up a conversation with a man who was heading to LA for a shooting competition. It turned out he was a shooting expert. He told us all kinds of funny stories and the people he had met on various competitions…It made the short flight back to UK really interesting.

2. Or the Destination Question. Here is how I do it:

Hey I am Julie; I am heading to (insert destination) for (trip aim) …How about you? Would you like some… (water, fruit etc.?)”

I always offer something. It’s about them right! Most people love positive attention. Make sure you have a sincere smile with your offer! 🙂

3. Flattery/Compliment….How about you show some appreciation of something they have. Their shirt, scarf, jewellery, dress, whatever. There’s always something. People love flattery…So here is how to start a conversation with a compliment, without coming across all stalker- weird. A lady’s scarf example that I actually have used:

Hey I am Julie I like your scarf, such vivid colours, where did you get it if you don’t mind me asking?”

Be genuine in your compliment it does come across. If they seem uninterested, give a short response or ignore you, Let them be. If they are responsive, its an invitation to follow through on the conversation.

 

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4. How to start a conversation – Ask a Question. For me, it’s so cool talking to different kinds of people. Sometimes I could talk for England to be honest.

I like to make others feel comfortable. So, if they are reading a magazine I ask them about it. Books, games, whatever! I show interest in what they are reading/doing. Depending on if I have read the magazine/book before, or not. I ask whether they recommend it as a good read…This makes them the expert and is very flattering to most people.  

Ask some further questions if their response is positive. This could lead to me asking them what they do?

Do they like their job? How long have they done it…! Of course I don’t mind to share what I do in the process.  In all this, watch their body language.

If they look grumpy, fold their arms across their chest, or simply give short abrupt answers…I let them be. Of course the idea is to break the ice, not keep them from reading their book/magazine throughout the flight!

Don’t bother them if they look tired either, or immersed in what they are doing. Just use common sense. If it’s a long ride, then better start that chat early. People are usually tired and less likely to speak after many hours on a flight, or sat on a bus long journey!

5. Offer to Help… This is a great ice breaker. If you notice that the other person is struggling with a piece of luggage and you can help put it away in an overhead bin or luggage stand. Do it. Esp. if they loo frail too.

And then of course introduce yourself immediately after you sit down. You could ask if they live in your departure city or destination. And if the latter, do they recommend any attractions, nice places to eat or even stay if you haven’t booked your accommodation! We found the most fun Eatery in Florence by chatting with the man we sat with on the flight…We ended up going there twice. We would never have found or even known it was a restaurant otherwise.

On the other hand if you are well versed with the destination and they aren’t, how about you suggest some jaunts they should check out? Great for building rapport and getting the convo going.

 

6. Let them beThis is worst case scenario. You could read a book or learn what you can do on a long haul flight! The other person may be incurably shy, going through some things, or they may simply be anti-social lol!

Others would rather be super doped on anti-histamines than speak to a stranger…Blame it on their momma’s effective training on “Stranger Danger.” But if you are gonna sit next to each other for the next 3+ hours, you may not be so strange by the time you arrive at your destination. If you each open up and start a simple natural conversation.

I consider this person “My Neighbour” for the moment and this takes away any feeling of discomfort talking to a total stranger…

If you can get someone to talk, you may help relieve some stress, fear of flying, heights whatever, and make their and your trip pleasurable. Isn’t that worth the effort? 🙂

Travel has allowed us to meet some of the most fascinating people #travelstories Click To Tweet

Travel has allowed us to meet some of the most fascinating people with some amazing stories to share. We only got to know about them because we started a conversation, or responded to one on a trip…

RECOMMENDED: How to Afford Your Next Vacation

How to Start a Conversation – It’s a Wrap!

Caution: Be mindful of personal space, theirs and yours. I know it can be q squeeze esp. on a flight. But avoid touching, moving too close, staring too hard at the dude next to you even if they are a doppelganger for Denzel Washington! 🙂  

Your conversation can be as random as your shoe laces…Yes I have had such a conversation! 🙂 It did make the 8-hour flight to Nairobi go faster…Of course we talked about other stuff.

Starting a conversation whether in transit, flight, road trip etc. it is all about communication and being willing to Share and Listen too. We all can learn a lot, find solutions for life’s little challenges and grow so much when we are willing to open up and talk.  

So now you know our tips, why would you want to talk to anyone on a trip? And how do you start a conversation on a plane or long trip, share your Insights below!

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See, Do, and Be more!

Julie Syl 

JuleSyl n Pauli_Pkjulesworld

Email: support[at]Juleskalpauli.com

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73 Comments

  1. Great post! I can wholly relate to a lot here, especially with the compliments department which I am really grateful to receive every time I’m talking to a local or fellow tourist. The cues are also important whether you want (or need) to continue the convo or not.

  2. Helen Vella

    Great tips, loved your style of writing enjoyed reading.

  3. Beautiful advice Julie!! Starting conversations with strangers isnt as hard as people think 🙂 Thank you!

    • We have to break the silence Tara and communicate. Its what makes the world go round. And the lack of it breaks communities apart!
      So we should start a conversation daily 🙂 Thanks for your time!
      ~PKJW

  4. Robin Rue

    The fifth one is definitely my favorite too! Love all of the tips on how to break the ice.

  5. Lori English

    Julie,

    Great article and enjoyed the part about body verbal and verbal cues are the most important andso muchis revealed or expressed through non verbal cues. I enjoyed the post and a lot of good informative information on travel.

    Lori English

    • We are creatures after all Lori and before we formed languages for verbal communication. We must have communicated some way and non-verbal is the one thing most of us ignore or miss.
      So yes to start a conversation with anyone anywhere, we have to study their body lingo very quick before we put our foot in it 🙂

      ~PKJW

  6. Awesome tips Julie. Sometimes those quiet moments can be very uncomfortable. Especially on a long haul flight

    • Indeed Andy,
      The silence can sure be uncomfortable esp. when you are getting negative vibes off of the person sat next to you. So it would be good to break the ice and maybe help them out of the feelings they may be going thru. Fear, doubt, anger you never know. Start a conversation and you will find out for sure 🙂
      ~PKJW

  7. Sandra Copeland

    Must remember these !!~ Making the list in order to help me remember !!~ great content and enjoyable read thank you for sharing !!~
    The Offer
    Destination Question
    Flattery/Compliment
    How to start a conversation – Ask a Question
    Offer to Help
    Let them be

  8. Six great tips especially for the tongue-tied. My challenge is to get them stop talking as I tend to just want to be quiet, sleep and stare out the window. Maybe your next post? 🙂

  9. I”m a talker and will strike up a conversation pretty easily with most. I think there’s only been a handful of times I didn’t want to be bothered on a flight, but it’s rare. Travel and conversation go hand and hand in my book.

  10. Alana

    Love these tips Julie! Thanks for the post!

  11. I tend to be an introvert so starting conversations is really hard for me.

  12. I’ve actually never held a conversation, outside of small talk, with someone on a plane. I like to catch up on reading my books on a long flight. I’ll have to give your tips a try sometime.

    • Hi Kendra to each their own.
      Some people genuinely dont wish to talk to anyone even their family on a flight. If someone is trying to cathc uo with a work project before they land and face the hot seat on Boardroom, To those we say Let them be 🙂
      ~PKJW

  13. Ryan Escat

    Oh, this is really a good one. Sometimes, I feel awkward in having a conversation.

  14. Haha great one liners as well as the tips. I think we just need to keep on changing (forwarding) the topic without nettling the person as this is crucial to maintain the conversation.

    • Indeed Akhil,
      The opening gambit is like a tester, see how the waters are . Are they warm or cold, should one take dip? After that its up to you where you take the convo 🙂
      ~PKJW

  15. I am the worst conversation starter and I am sure it makes me come off as rude or uninterested which is not true 🙂

    • hey Erinn,

      If you make an effort just by smiling, the other person may usually take the cue an start the conversation. How about that 🙂
      A smile goes a long way! “Hey I am Erinn how are you today and take it from there….
      ~PKJW

  16. manifesting

    Great Tips. I’m naturally an introvert, it’s easy for me to crawl up in a shell and be by myself especially on a flight. I have to make a conscious effort to start a conversation. So I appreciated the tips

  17. Having a short conversation during travels are mostly like you will have a new friend. Soemtimes I do short conversation when I take bus.

  18. RC

    Great tips. I could try no. 1 on my next trip and see how it goes. I usually do nos 3 and 4. They’re really effective icebreakers.

  19. appreciate these awesome tips, i will use them during my travels

  20. Great tips! This would take the boredom out of a long trip. It would be nice to get to strike a good conversation with your seatmate, especially if you find out you share the same interests.

  21. Elizabeth O.

    You wouldn’t normally see me strike up a conversation with a stranger especially in a different place or country! I think these are awesome though, not everyone is out there to harm you, some are also looking for a friendly face.

    • Stranger Danger is so much ingrained in some of us Liz, so we stop ourselves from reaching out.
      The majority of the human race are noice well meaning people so I always go out with that in mind. Plus we’re so in love with travel, it loves us back
      So I never meet a rabid osama sister lol

      ~PKJW

  22. Rory Singh

    Wow you come up with some very thought provoking posts Julie! Love this one because a nice conversation is not only pleasant but it sure helps to pass the time especially during travel.

    • A nice conversation sure does help pass the time Rory and takes your thoughts off any worries you may have esp. if the trip is not for fun purposes!
      Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
      ~PKJW

  23. Great post! Sometimes it is awkward in striking up a convo especially on long haul flights! This is a great break-the-ice list that I can reference when I head off someplace on my own 🙂

  24. I think these are really good ideas. It is pretty nice to be able to meet someone new and hear from them one a long ride.

  25. When I travel I run into people who don’t want to talk at all or talk the whole time. You’ve given some good tips though.

    • Hi Clara,

      We all go through some things and depends on the purpose of our journey too. If I ma going to meet an unhappy client. I am planning just how to aproach them without gettig them even more upset. Yet talking with someone may gie you an idea you never thought about! Think about it … 🙂
      ~PKJW

  26. It depends on my mood and what book I’m reading whether I decide to talk to the person next to me. I’ve had some great conversations when I have taken the chance to chat with my flying buddy. I think if I was on a group trip, I would be more likely to want to get to know the people I would be spending my time with, but regardless you can meet some very interesting people in your journeys.

    • Very true Cindy.
      But in our book chatting with a real life human beats any fiction or non fiction any day. Unless of course they are boring or start a conversation that is as unwelcome as an elevator fart 🙂
      ~PKJW

  27. Awesome ice breakers. I like #1 and #5 the best. Start it off with the best chance of them liking you. Thank you for sharing.

  28. Great tips Julie…. love the ice breakers… I’ve always had an “issue” with trying to start a conversation… usually let the other person start it…. however my wife, Diane… would talk to a wall as long as it would stand… so I seldom have to start any conversation…

  29. Great post Julie.
    With the examples you gave here, you will literally, never run out of people to talk to. Awesome

  30. Good tips, but when I’m travelling I usually just want to sleep and wake up when I get there. A talkative seat-mate would drive me nuts!

  31. I usually start with a smile and ask if they are coming or going. If they answer and start to talk more, then we go from there. I am a chatty person as it is and now my daughter is too so she helps with conversations too!

  32. [ Smiles ] Oh Julie, in my case, I start with a “Good morning,” or a “Good evening,” and I simply build up the conversation from there.

  33. These are great tips. Coming out of your comfort zone and talking to new people can be so difficult at times but sometimes those are the most rewarding conversations!

  34. Nancy Reyes

    Great tips on how to start a conversation. I am personally a little shy, and meeting new people while on trips would be great

  35. Chris Shouse

    Great icebreakers Julie, as a world traveler myself I have also met some fascinating people traveling about. Most of the time people are open to talking. I have not met many who were not but your tips on opening lines will help.

  36. Looove these ice breakers Julie! Definitely some great ways to start a conversation while traveling! Thanks so much!

  37. Chei

    Oh this is great! Thank u for sharing.

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